I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
