I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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