Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
