You just made me feel so damn special
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I die, sorry about rent.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
