She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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