I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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