haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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