"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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