I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
