I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ugly people sure do ruin things
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're like the curious george of whores
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
