i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
