You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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