In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
