So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
