I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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