I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize