I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
