I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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