Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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