Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
