She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
