I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
