I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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