You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
two words: eviction party
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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