Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
