We're facebook friends in real life
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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