I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
