How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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