something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
