if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
