just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
