Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
