You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
