i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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