I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize