Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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