i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
