Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
