I got chris browned last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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