You're so nebulous sometimes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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