yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
