Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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