So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
