Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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