Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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