My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
