Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
