i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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