I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just pee around me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
