I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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