She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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