it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
