im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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