He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
