I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
