I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
