i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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