Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I supernannyed him into submission
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
