I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
