just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
