their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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