I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
