Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize