i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
