I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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