It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
